Shattered
by no.goodbyes
Summary: Everything seems perfect but new events threaten to tear relationships apart and possibly dig up old ones that were thought gone. There are no permanent goodbyes. Soriku, AkuRoku and others.


_Just a quick heads up, this is my first fan fiction so go easy on me. This is the typical length of a chapter for me so expect them to be this long most of the time. _

_**Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respected owners (Square Enix)**_

.:ROXAS:.

Fear and nausea began to settle deep in Roxas' stomach as he once again, went over the facts. He was in love, simple as that, but with his best friend. Something he never could have dreamed of happening.

Pressing his cheek against the cold glass of his window, Roxas sighed and closed his eyes, an image of his best friend burning under his lids. He opened his eyes again to look out at the Twilight Town skylight, the moon light shining down on the empty buildings, casting eerie shadows on the pavement below. Roxas' body ached as he shifted to look up at the stars, searching for reassurance from his mother above. There was no sign, no glimmer of hope, only endless darkness spreading across the September night. The blond sighed and put his head down on the welcoming pillow. He had been staring at the sky for hours, exploring his thoughts, but always returning to that single mental image of his love. Unsure thoughts still floating through his mind, Roxas accepted the wanted sleep and began to drift off...

xXx

A distant blaring brought Roxas back to the real world. Lately, he could barely tell the difference between the two as his dreams provided no comfort, and they became less obvious in their messages and more subtle. Groaning and gazing at the clock, Roxas was reminded this was the first full day of school. He missed each friend, as they didn't see each other over the summer while Roxas was on vacation in California with his brother, Sora, and his father, Cloud. He missed Naminé's supportive smile and attitude; he wanted to see Olette's thoughtful green eyes and Pence's optimistic outlook on life. He missed Hayner's attitude problem, but most of all, he missed ... _him_.

During his vacation away from everyone, Roxas came to the conclusion that he was in love with his best friend of 8 years. It had suddenly hit him when they had a video chat on the computer, as Roxas sat there gaping like an idiot at his friend. He knew his feelings were changing for his friend at the end of grade 10 and getting stronger, but he chose to ignore them, seeing them as stupid and meaningless. But now he was sure of these feelings. He was just too scared to admit them to his friend, too afraid of the awkwardness that would eat away at their friendship, too afraid of being rejected.

Shutting off his alarm clock and grabbing some clothes out of his closet, Roxas made his way to the bathroom, banging on his brother's door as he walked by.

'Sora! Get up! Its first day and I don't want to be late,' Roxas called. Behind the door someone groaned and began to move around the room. Satisfied, Roxas walked in to the bathroom and had a shower.

All of the sleep began to go down the drain as Roxas let the water slowly consume his stormy thoughts. After toweling off, Roxas looked at the face in the mirror. It was not what he was used to by any means. The once exuberant eyes looked dull and stormy, projecting a secret battle taking over his thoughts. There were dark circles under his eyes from last night, and his skin look paler than usual. His blond unruly spiked hair remained the same, as it never gave in to the power of the comb. Overall, Roxas looked exhausted. He sighed and got dressed and then walked downstairs to the kitchen.

'Morning Rox!' Sora smiled, looking up from his bowl of cereal. Sora looked the same as he did any other day, happy and refreshing to look at. He had a way of making people feel lighter around him, a sun that revolved around everyone spreading warmth and love. His blue eyes shone brightly, smiling all by themselves. His bangs partly covered his eyes but they couldn't hide them. His hair was very much like Roxas' but a dark chocolate brown, and a tiny bit more vertical. 'Sleep well?'

_Yes, if you think insomnia is great._ 'Mmhm, just a little tired,' Roxas answered as he put some bread in the toaster and began to make his lunch for school. 'Morning Dad,' he yawned as his father entered the kitchen, looking a little flustered.

Cloud Strife passed down a lot of his features to his twin sons. They had the same hair besides Sora who had the color from his mother, Yuna, who passed away at the twins' birth 16 years ago. Cloud's eyes differed from the boys', as they were more aqua than sapphire. It was like the twins were 16 year old reflections of their father. 'Morning. I'm sorry but I can't drive you to school today. I have a huge project for work and if it's not done, Cid is going to kick my ass,' Cloud hurriedly explained as he searched the kitchen for a certain misplaced paper.

'It's fine Dad,' Sora laughed as he handed him the paper, 'we are very capable of walking. That's why we have legs.' Cloud smiled and gave the twins a hug before wishing them a good day at school and departing.

After putting their dishes in the dishwasher and grabbing their bags, Roxas and Sora began to walk to school.

The cool September air began to wake Roxas up from his sleepy haze, freeing his mind. As usual, Sora was talking the whole way about everyone and how he missed them. Choosing to ignore Sora until they got to school, Roxas explored his own thoughts, realizing how close he was getting to seeing him again. A sudden pang of nausea passed through Roxas causing him to lose balance for a moment. Recovering quickly, Roxas noticed they were at school now.

There were people everywhere, screaming and laughing as they told each other about their vacations. Weaving in and out of the crowds of people, and making their way over to the usual spot where Roxas and his group hung out, he and Sora stopped to say hello to everyone, giving hugs and then walking off to the next people to compare tans. At that moment, Roxas' breath hitched in his throat and his heart sunk to his feet. Waving and calling him over was ... Axel.

'Hey!' Sora yelled as he ran over to everyone, leaving Roxas trailing after him slowly, his feet acting as if they were made of lead. He eventually made his way over to their spot at a table under a large cherry blossom tree.

'Hi guys,' Roxas smiled as he got closer. On the inside he was hyperventilating.

'Hey,' everyone chimed back. He noticed there was something different about each person. Pence and Hayner had both grown over an inch over the summer, as did their hair. Naminé looked more filled out than last year, which was a big improvement for her seeing as she was about the size of a twig. She looked healthy and happy though, new small freckles spotting her nose, with her hair now falling over her shoulders. Olette had gotten a tan, freckles spotting her arms and face. Her eyes were still the same shade of bright green, and her dark brown hair had gotten lighter from the sun. It seemed to Roxas that everything about Axel had changed, but he knew it was just him. Axel was now the tallest of everyone in the group, and was also the thinnest of the boys. His thin and wiry muscles hid their true strength which Roxas had seen before. His fiery spiked red hair grew out, and his pale skin had a gotten a slight tan. But what Roxas noticed the most was his eyes. They had always been very noticeable, but now those acid green orbs entranced Roxas in their gaze, losing him along the way.

They all talked and compared notes on their vacations, expressing their jealousy for some and sympathy for others. Every so often Roxas would steal a quick glance at the red head, taking in as much as he could. Finally, the bell rang signaling the beginning of first period. Roxas had Science first with Naminé, so they said good-bye to everyone, shared a few more hugs and walked over to the Science Wing of the school. 

xXx

'Roxas? Um ... are you okay? You seem a little ... distant,' Naminé said as they entered the class and sat down at a table together.

'I'm fine Nami. Just a little tired, that's all,' Roxas replied, smiling so ingeniuinely he was surprised Naminé didn't just call him out.

'Okay. I just want you to know you can tell me anything.'

'I know,' Roxas mumbled. He looked in to Naminé's eyes and saw nothing but concern. She knew something was wrong, but she was to shy and polite to press on. Naminé was always shy and easily embarrassed. She didn't have very many friends outside of their group, but everyone knew her for her art, which was posted around the school.

Suddenly, a familiar voice overpowered the student's. _'Good morning Twilight Town High! And welcome to another fantastic year. I'm sure you're all ready to go and begin your first day's work. But first we would like to inform you about our various teams and clubs here. Blitzball try-outs will be held at the back field in one week from now. That's Monday September 14th!,' _reminded Demyx. His smile was clearly audible, as he was easily the happiest person Roxas knew. They didn't hang out much, but they were good friends at this point. _'Everyone is welcome to come and give it a try. Also, people who do not, I repeat DO NOT have their schedule are expected to come to and see Principal Ansem at lunch or after school. That's all for today everyone, and have a great day!'_ Demyx exclaimed as the announcements came to a close. At that point Professor Vexen told everyone to quiet down so they could begin the lesson.

xXx

The whole day went by in a blur. Roxas paid attention in all of his classes, and did all of his class work, but none of it really stuck. His mind was elsewhere. During his English class, Pence tried asking Roxas what the moral of _Macbeth_ was, but all he got from Roxas was 'mm, that's nice.'

Every class was boring except for P.E. with Miss Yuffie. Axel was in that class.

Today they were doing volleyball, and were supposed to get in to teams of two. As if they had already guessed, Roxas and Axel were already standing together. At one point when Axel and Roxas were passing to each other, Roxas got distracted by Axel and ended getting hit in the face with a rogue volleyball. Soon, they got in to two on two games. Many times, Roxas caught himself staring at Axel, noticing how his muscles tensed as he spiked the ball over net with massive power. The sunlight pouring in from the skylights reflected off of the sweat on Axel, making Roxas feel faint. Sometime after that, Roxas was so out of it that he fell over the next time he got hit in the head. Immediately, Axel ran over and helped him up.

'Are you okay Rox? You seem a little out of it today,' Axel asked as he looked over the shorter blond.

'I-I'm fine,' Roxas stammered as he began to brush himself off, his face growing hot. Axel shrugged and they soon went back to playing. 

xXx

Roxas began to walk to his locker after class when Axel suddenly ran up to him and pulled him aside away from everyone. 'Could you just tell me already?' he asked, obviously annoyed with the way Roxas had been acting.

'Tell you what? Everything is fine, like I said before,' Roxas replied flustered, not expecting Axel to be so forward.

'Are you kidding me? Do you really not expect to notice when my friend of 8 years is acting a little weird? God Roxas,' Axel laughed.

A longing began to ache in Roxas' chest, soon growing to the point where it hurt to breathe. He loved Axel, more than he could ever know. It wasn't just brotherly love; it was the kind of love where you wanted to spend every waking moment with that person. The love where you call just to say 'I love you.' And in that moment, he began to lose all control, and all of his barriers against the world began to crumble.

Before Roxas could register what was happening in his mind, he had dropped his books and taken the red head's face in his clammy hands. Axel looked at him confused and then surprised as Roxas murmured the words 'IloveyouAxel,' before softly kissing him. Roxas's whole body was set on fire, but even as he began to burn up, he shivered. As he pressed himself against Axel, he felt the red head's whole body seize up. Feeling the need to vomit, Roxas quickly pulled away as he realized what he had just done. Completely red faced and embarrassed Roxas grabbed all of his books as fast as he could and ran out of the school at top speed, never daring to look back to see the red head's expression . _What have I done_, he silently asked himself. _Why couldn't I have waited to ruin my life tomorrow?_


End file.
